Sgt. Hook has now reached Afghanistan, and all his real work begins. God bless ya, Hook. You’ll hear from me.
Go on over and wish him well; it’s you he’s fighting for.
I went fishing with my dad while I was in Texas. I got a weird sunburn (which later turned into a very sexy tan, if I do say so myself) because of the way I was holding the fishing pole, but I had a great time chatting with him and introducing Kayla to the concept of lake-fishing. She loved it, by the way, right up until I actually caught a fish, at which point she ran screaming to the back of the boat, and thereafter wanted absolutely nothing to do with any fish.
I also saw the most bizarre thing while I was out there - a tree, growing right out of the middle of a concrete bridge that passes about 3 stories over the surface of the lake. Someone, please tell me, HOW is this possible?
Shannon Kramer’s plans to fire a rocket toward his girlfriend went awry when the firework ricocheted inside his car and dived between his legs, bursting in a display that burned hair and skin from his feet to his groin, police said.
[…]
Kramer said he suffered second-degree burns and a cut on one leg. His eyelashes and a lot of body hair are gone and an outline of his sandals is burned onto his feet.
See, now… that’s just too perfect. Too bad it didn’t burn his balls off; I’d love to have called this Darwinism, except that it seems the jackass can probably still procreate. And you just know he will, too (if he hasn’t already).
Sen. John Kerry, the presumptive Democratic nominee for president, today launched a political line of attack against President Bush and Vice President Cheney, assailing what he suggests are their interests in Big Oil.
[…]
One thing the note failed to say: the Kerry family has as much as a couple of extra million dollars in its portfolio today because of its wheeling and dealing - during the Bush Administration - in oil stock.
Check it out. It’s quite an eye-opener. But then, we already knew Kerry was a hypocrite, didn’t we?
Well, this is about the dumbest damn thing I’ve ever heard of.
The Serbian parliament has adopted a controversial bill which provides financial compensation and state benefits to war crimes suspects.
Yes, you read that right. War crimes suspects. Not war crimes victims; war crimes suspects.
The law calls for all those indicted for war crimes to be paid monthly compensation for lost salaries and legal fees.
It also provides financial help to families of the accused to cover travel expenses, hotel and visa costs and phone bills.
I’m going to go on record right now as saying that if Bush endorses giving more aid to Serbia while this stuipd-ass law stands, I won’t vote for him. I won’t vote for Kerry, either, mind you (and in the great state of Washington, one vote more or less for Bush won’t make a damn bit of difference), but I’m still drawing my own little line in the sand.
“Don’t you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.” - Gallagher
And speaking of our National Security Advisor, Ed of Late Final points out something that I had noticed myself, namely that the media (he cites CNN) chooses “angry-looking” pictures of Condi Rice when she’s not doing what they want her to do, and happy pictures when she seems more “compliant.”
And before anybody goes off on me about freedom of the press, I’m not suggesting Donald Rumsfeld should mount the Dogs of Hell and descend on CNN’s headquarters and smite them or anything (though that could be fun to watch, on Fox News); just that it’s something to notice by we, the educated viewing/reading/listening public.
Court (who’s guest-blogging at Heretical Ideas) makes an excellent point in a recent post urging Condoleeza Rice to testify.
In our zeal to find someone to blame we have forgotten that it was 19 evil men who committed the acts that we will remember forever.
Man, I’ve missed Liberal Larry a lot.
“And Moses spoketh unto the Pharoah,” Kerry shouted above the cacophony of Hoseas and Hallelujahs, “and sayeth he unto him: ‘Pharoah, I sayeth unto thee, unto thee I sayeth, and to thee onlyeth I do say: Let my people go!’
[…]
“Senator Kerry!” one fascist screamed before being struck down with great vengeance and furious anger. “Won’t your proselytizing weaken the Wall Between Church and State?”
“Of course not,” Kerry replied without missing a beat. “It’s only proselytizing if you mean what you say.”
Amen, Brutha!
… that I’m the #2 hit on Google for people who hate welfare? Amazon is #1, and since Amazon isn’t technically a “people", I guess that makes me #1. Woohoo! Cuz I do. I do hate government welfare. And thanks to Leah for pointing it out to me.
Alrighty, folks, time for me to get back into the swing of things here, and blog about something other than me and my kids. Let’s kick it off with the Clarke/Bush/ignoring terror matter. I’ll start with simply linking to a post by Ed of Late Final about an article in Newsweek, in which Clarke appears to have “resented” working for NSA Condoleeza Rice. Here’s what I posted in Ed’s comments section:
“Face time"? Isn’t Clarke’s big complaint about Bush that he (Bush) wouldn’t take meetings with him (Clarke); i.e., no face time? It sounds to me like Clarke was resentful that *he* was never made National Security Advisor, and this is his way of getting back. But, of course, any attempt to analyze the man’s record or motives, or even respond to his charges, is instantly labeled by the left as an “attack” or a “smear.”
Today I am 29 weeks 1 day pregnant. Do you know what that means? It means the little baby boy (name as yet undetermined) is due in less than 11 weeks!!! I am SO not prepared to have another child. I mean, yes, I have the clothes, and the diapers, and the blankets. I’m a champ at nursing (though it seems it’s been a lot longer than the 7 months since I weaned my last), and my colostrum has come in. I know all about taking care of a newborn (back to sleep!), and we even still have the infant carseat.
But when this one comes - did I mention he’s due in LESS than 11 weeks?? - we’ll be outnumbered. There will now be THREE of them, and only TWO of us! What happens if they all fall and bump their heads at once? Which one has to wait for kisses and cuddles? What if they all get sleepy at once? Who will help them all get to sleep? I can only get them to go to sleep one at a time!! Who will give all those baths (sexy hubby does them all now, big as I am I’m not able to help)? Who will do all that laundry (mostly sexy hubby again)? Who will wipe all those noses? Break up all those fights? Pry all those cats off the ceiling?
Forget nesting; my back is so lame at this point I can’t even do a load of dishes without paying for it. I can fold a single basket of laundry, but that’s about the extent of my domesticating. So this little one’s going to meet us “raw", as is, no packaging. I sure hope he can take it. At least the milk’s on tap!
I've decided to take a hiatus from this journal. I'm just not feeling into it, and it seems more like work than fun. At that point, it's time to stop. It's been so long since I've posted, anyway, that I doubt there are many people reading (and that's ok). If you want to keep reading stuff I'm writing, try my blog for awhile.
“I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.” - Fred Allen
I couldn’t agree more. Boston is definitely on the top of my “cities I’d hate to live", along with Washington, D.C., Detroit, and anywhere in California
This was my Kayla, the night before I left Texas, when we went with “Paw-Paw” and “Nannee” to eat spagetti at Olive Garden. Ain’t she just too purdy!?!?
“Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.” - Elbert Hubbard
Josh wrote one of the best notes to wife and daughter I’ve ever read. Made me cry.
That Hitler Man
That Hitler Man,
I’ll bomb his ass,
That Hitler Man.
Did you know Dr. Seuss used to draw political cartoons? Me, neither.
Hat tip to sexy husband
Genital piercings for women were banned by the Georgia House Wednesday as lawmakers considered a bill outlining punishments for female genital mutilation.
The bill would make such mutilation punishable by two to 20 years in prison. […] An amendment adopted without objection added “piercing” to the list of things that may not be done to female genitals. Even adult women would not be allowed to get the procedure. The bill eventually passed 160-0, with no debate.
I’m all for protecting girls from the sort of genital mutilation practiced by some African tribes (think: removal of clitoral hood), but adult women should be able to do whatever in the hell they want to with their genitalia, up to and including whacking them off. It’s not my thing (way, WAY past my squick-o-meter), but your twat is your twat. I’m SHOCKED there were no dissenting votes on this one, but hey: it IS Georgia, after all. Oh, and here’s the clincher:
The ban applies only to women, not men.
“She’s just like you, except she don’t talk all the time like you.” - My nephew Zachary, telling me about my daughter.
OK, so I’m posting again right away. :)
My dear husband, Mike, has a chance to write an ASVAB book (he’s written dozens of books and articles on IT-related matters, but this is a venture into somewhat less familiar territory). As Mike has never been in the military, much less been a recruiter, he needs to work with a retired recruiter on the book. If you would be interested, or know of anyone else who might be, please give him a holler.
Well, obviously, I’m back. I’m sure I’ll write a long entry (or maybe a series of entries) about the trip in due time, but for now I’m doing some serious firefighting on my email, snail mail, and various other fronts. I’m quite overwhelmed at the amount of stuff that’s been piled up, and have no idea when I’ll get back to posting here. It could be tonight, it could be a week from now. I’ve re-enabled comments (and banned about 20 IPs after deleting trashy comment spam - assholes), so feel free to chatter away. :)
Mike - thanks, man. *smooch*
It sure is nice blogsitting. I have free reign to say whatever I want. I could even pick on the blog’s owner if I wanted too…
For example: Did you ever notice how much Dana looks like Sandra Bullock?
Editor's Note: There was a picture here, but it hasn't survived the migration. :(
Yeah just like her except… Oh Dana your back! Uhh… what picture? I was gonna say just like Sandra Bullock except much prettier. I swear! Ahhh… My Arm! No! Stop! Not the face! Not the face!
If I counted on my calendar right, Dana should be back home today. I’m sure you’ve all missed her, I certainly know I have. I hope she will grace us soon with her jet lagged presence. Welcome back Dana!
It was a year yesterday. I guess I’m a little late, but better late than never, right?
The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it.
–Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says: “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!
His buddy looks at him and says: “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say, “WHO’S HORNY"? And she acts like she’s sound asleep.
Sounds bout right…
I ended up having to go take care of some business for a few days and I wasn’t able to work on NIP. I’m back… Time to get back to work.
Well, this is going to have to be filed under Other because Dana doesn’t have a dumbass category.
John Boston was sentenced to 420 years for 9 counts of rape, robbery, and various other evil deeds.
John Boston is also guilty of being a dumbass. He sent police a letter to brag about his crimes. He licked the envelope. His DNA is what put him away. Yup, dumbass…
That isn’t where the stupid ends though. No way….
Prosecutors said it’s unlikely he’ll ever get out of prison, and his victims are relieved.
Unlikely? He was sentenced to 420 years and he is unlikely to be released. The fact that there is any possibility of this guys release makes the criminal justice system just as stupid. Maybe more.
Dana likes to talk about parenting, so I thought I’d give this winner of a Dad a mention.
DALLAS (Reuters) - A Texas man did the drinking and decided to let his 11-year-old son, who was barely able to see over the steering wheel, do the driving, police said.
Police said on Wednesday they had arrested Robert Lee Crider on charges of child endangerment, public intoxication and having an open container of alcohol in his vehicle.
Crider’s son was pulled over by a Texas state trooper outside of the west Texas town of Big Spring in the predawn hours of Saturday after the officer saw the car speeding and weaving through traffic, said Sgt. Jason Hester, a spokesman for the Texas Department of Public Safety.
Crider apparently was taking his son home for the weekend as a part of a custody arrangement with his ex-wife. Crider and a friend stopped off at a bar with the boy, and when the two adults became too drunk to drive, they handed the keys of the rental car over to the boy.
The boy was pulled over just as the group started on a trip of some 200 miles to Crider’s home. They had passed several motels before they were stopped by the trooper, Hester said.
If you drink, don’t drive, or let your kid drive. In fact, I think what your supposed to do is the watermellon crawl, whatever that is. Right Dana?
“A man who killed another man because he thought the his girlfriend was being turned into a vampire has been found not guilty by reason of insanity. “
“Testimony during the trial indicated that Palmer killed Antonia Vierira with a shotgun blast because he was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia at the time of the crime.”
Nonsense. This guy wasn t crazy. I really wish I was the lawyer prosecuting this case. The prosecurting attourney wasted all his time talking about how Palmer fled to Canada after the murder, showing he knew it was wrong. What a waste. Look, how did this Palmer guy kill his victim? With a shotgun. When, in the history of the vampire has one ever gone down to a shotgun. I ll tell ya when, never. If he really believed this guy was a vampire, he d have also really believed this dude needed some decapitation, garlic, a stake through the hart, or a call to Buffy Summers. Anything, but a shotgun… Sheesh.
You can read the rest and more about vampires at Miniluv.
I spent some time in Mexico once. Someone asked me what I thought and after considering I replied, “Well, it was hot and it smelled like ass.” It turns out the same can be said for mars. Who’d have thought.
Hi Everybody!
Well, it’s true. Dana says you’re all stuck with me for a bit. I suggest you email her quickly and beg her to stay.
If you don’t know me, I’m Mike Wazowski from Miniluv. Miniluv is a two-person blog and how it works over there is Court is the good cop and I’m the bad cop. I’m not even going to try to turn that off, so sorry. You’re stuck with bad cop all the time.
Anyway, don’t stop reading just because the lovely and talented Dana is gone. If anything, after a few weeks of me you will just appreciate her even more.
I’m going to be taking a couple-week vacation to Texas with one of my kids (which one is still to be determined - please pray for sick toddlers). I won’t have a network connection while I’m gone, and won’t be blogging. In my absence, Mike of miniluv has graciously agreed to guest-blog. I don’t want him to have to deal with comment spam, so I’ve just disabled comments on all posts. If you need to tell me something, you can email it to me, though even that I probably won’t see until I get back later this month.
Mike’s going to be blogging (or not) on whatever he likes, so you might check back from time to time to see what interesting tidbits he’s dug up, or thought up. And thanks, Mike, for tending the fires while I’m gone!
I’m going to be turning off all RSS feeds while I’m gone, and not reading blogs so I probably won’t know (for awhile) what everyone’s talking about when I do get back. I’m going to do my best to avoid news reports, too; this is a VACATION!!
Take care, everyone.
“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.” - Robert Frost
First, for all you guys who came of age in the 80’s: the obsession with Molly Ringwald, explain that. ‘Cuz honestly, I just don’t get it.
Second, why do airlines offer you a discount on airfare if you have a Saturday stayover? What do THEY care when you go and when you come back? Aren’t you still taking up the same number of seats per plane either way?
These are serious questions - things I just don’t grok.
Jeremy Gilby has improved on my Lego version of myself. The one he came up with is a lot hotter.
Now, if only they offered pregnant bellies as part of the options. ;)
Thanks, Jeremy!
Well, after everyone else in the blogosphere has done it, I’ve now decided to create a Lego version of myself. Feel free to make one of your own.
Detailed retrospective history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during fellatio.
Via Mike
In discussing a new-found “perfect girl” (known only online, through email), I asked a friend of mine, “What if she’s as big as a house, and has lice, and can’t string 2 sentences together in conversation?” He responded, “Well I’ll just make her write stuff down… and if she’s as big as a house and has lice I’ll shave her head and tie a rope to myself before I dive in.”
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming - ‘WOW—What A Ride!’” - Anonymous
