Some days, I have to really, really force myself to slow down and think about only one task at a time, because if I really let my mind consider all the things that are undone, half-done, or that need to be done, I start to panic. Like, serious anxiety attacks, the kind that make you just shut down and do nothing at all but just whimper. I'm trying really hard to keep that tendency to panic under control, but it's not easy. So I'm trying a different approach - spewing it all here, to see how that helps me, if at all.
So here's what I need to do, and the deadline (if any) by which each needs to be done:
Of course, none of that takes into account the regular email, chat, kid-chasing, scrapbooking, cardmaking, forum-maintaining, cooking, cleaning, laundry, diaper-changing, and other crap that goes on in my life. I mean, who wouldn't go nuts?
Right?
Right?
PS - Did I mention the migraine? No? I must've forgotten due to the throbbing symphony going on behind my left eye.
PSS - Blind to the Rubber Rocket folks: Box arrived. Haven't had time for party planning (obviously), but it's here. Let me know what's good for you, we'll try to make it work.
"Oh crap, it's a real live crazy place there." - My friend Kathy, after hearing a description of my evening.
I've always loved this song.
But every now and then he offers her a shoulder.
And every now and then she overflows.
And every now and then a bridge crosses over.
It's a moment that every lover knows.
Brudder and sista kickin' back, watching TV.
Ever have one of those days where it seems like everything that can go wrong, does go wrong? I'm having one of those weeks.
This is all the scrapbooking I've been able to do in ages.
When you're in business for yourself, you run up against all types. Most of the people that I deal with on a day-to-day basis are kind, friendly, welcoming people. But every now and then... you get involved with one of "those."
I am a very scrupulous businessperson. I go to great pains not to overcharge businesses for advertising, and to offer as much in the way of free services as I can reasonably afford. I respond to emails, usually within a day or two, and I remove "dead" email addresses from my subscriber database at least once a month. I take my reputation in the crafting industry extremely seriously.
Today I was accused of being anything but what I am. Someone asserted that I was being sneaky, manipulative, and underhanded in an attempt to make sales (which is ridiculous, since I don't sell anything). I KNOW the accusation is wrong, and yet it still grates, because it was stated publicly. In trying to defend myself, I made things worse.
If I were McDonald's or Wal-Mart, I would expect this. I would have a whole DEPARTMENT for dealing with false accusations. As it is, it's just me. I'm it. I'm the marketer, the lawyer, the designer, the developer, the IT tech, the sales rep, the accounts payable rep - I do it all. And some of my jobs are harder than others. I'm not so good at the public relations stuff when it gets nasty.
I'm also not real good at shielding my own feelings from hurt when someone accuses me falsely.
It sucks.
Just because you CAN alter something doesn't mean you should.
A baby is a bit of stardust fallen from the hand of God.
Ever wonder what my friends do for fun? I have the coolest friends, with the coolest toys. :)
Add a few more kids, and this is how I feel.
I Love My Life
by Jamie O'Neal
Her little blond hair's blowin', she's swingin' while her daddy's mowin'
The grass, and the dog needs a bath
But he's chasing the cat up a tree
I'm lookin' out the window, happy just watching my world go round
And I think to myself, how lucky can a girl be
I've got everything, more than I ever dreamed
I love my life
I thank God for all I have
And that I love this man
Who loves his wife
I love my life
I love my life
Twenty kisses goodnight, turn the little butterfly night light on,
'til the monster is gone and she's finally fallen asleep
We tiptoe downstairs, cuddle up and we kiss in the big chair
and I smile and you whisper, now it's just you and me
I've got everything, more than I ever dreamed
I love my life
I thank God for all I have
And that I love this man
Who loves his wife
I love my life
I love my life
Blue and pink in the nursery
Gold and silver anniversaries
Dancing in the living room
Our little girl, and me and you
I've got everything, more than I ever dreamed
I love my life
I thank God for all I have
And that I love this man
Who loves his wife
I love my life
I love my life
I neglected to mention that Linny-Bug had her first well-baby checkup on Thursday. Aside from her brothers and sister acting like heathen devil children in the waiting room, all was well. She weighed in at a hefty 9 pounds, 8 ounces, her length is up an inch to 22.5", and she's healthy as a horse. The doctor pronounced her "perfect." The nursing staff had somehow misplaced her hearing test, so we took her over to have that redone. Lindsey loudly objected, however, so they finally gave up - they're essentially going to fake a new card. After that, it was over to the lab for her follow-up PKU. I hate that part of having a new baby, so Mike takes the baby in and I wait out in the hallway with the boobies. Doesn't mean I don't have to hear it, but at least I don't have to be RIGHT THERE, barely restraining my impulse to murder the technician.
We had a second, low-key outing to the library on Friday - just me, Lindsey, Adam, and Kayla. Ours were the only children there, so it was pretty relaxed. Then yesterday, I took that same contingent out to Pullman and Moscow for lunch (KFC) and a movie (Curious George). There were some difficulties - screaming baby, arguing older kids, poor timing - but nothing I couldn't handle. I feel like a soccer mom again, rather than an invalid. Lindsey h-a-t-e-s her carseat, but luckily she falls asleep pretty quickly once we get going. I'm getting good enough at packin' 'em in quickly, though - I'm thinking about joining a pit crew!
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| Thomas, playing GuardDog to his baby sister the first time she's laid on the floor. | Baby Mitchie in his new joker hat. |
Friday night, we had guests over - Margi, Mitch, and Baby Peanut. We had a fantabulous
time, and Mike made an especially scrumptious dinner of grilled broccoli, pork medallions with gravy, and pasta with a cheesy
seafood sauce. Mmmmmm! We all sat around chatting about babies and motherhood and nursing. It's so fun to have another family nearby
with a baby the same age as ours! We agreed that while Peanut has Lin-bird beaten in the projectile vomiting event, she could totally
take him in interpretive farting. (And isn't she just going to KILL me for this entry in about 14 years?)
And in the "Moms will 'get' that this is sad" category... Mike and I have decided that we're done having babies. Linn-mutt is my baby. So I sent Margi home with a couple of sacks of boys' clothes in 0-6 months, and as our kids grow up and I dig more stuff out of storage, I'm sure I'll be keeping her well-stocked in too many boy things. It worked out nicely that she had a boy and I had a girl! And not JUST because we're already discussing floral arrangements and honeymoon hotspots for their (inevitable! I'm sure!) eventual wedding. ;)
Being done with pregnancy (forever! *sniff*) means that I was able to finally cull my panties drawer of the dreaded "pregnancy drawers". Tossed em right in the trash. Woohoo!!!
This song really speaks to the way I feel about my life. I am so completely blessed, and even when things seem tough, I want to try to remember how very lucky I am. I have a man who loves me unconditionally, a home that I am proud of, a career that I have made myself, and four beautiful, healthy children who are the purpose of my life. I don't know what I've done to deserve such bounty, but I am very grateful.
These Four Walls
by Sara Evans
Wasn't that long ago
I was skipping to school with a lunchbox
Pigtails in my hair
Where did the time go?
One minute I'm playing in the sandbox
How'd I get to here from there?
Making lunches and folding clothes
It's not the most glamourous life I know
But I've got so much more than most
[Chorus]
I'm not famous but my kids think I'm a star
I'm not rich but I've made a million memories so far
I may not be a model
But my man thinks I could be
I may not be from royalty
But in these four walls
I'm a queen
I had it all planned
First I'd make it big in Nashville
Then take Hollywood by storm
But it was in God's hands
There were three little lives that would need me
To one day be their mom
I wouldn't trade it for anything
Those movie stars don't have everything
I know I'm right where I wanna be
[Repeat Chorus]
I had to let it go, but I have no regrets
I would have never known this kind of happiness
[Repeat Chorus]
You know how they tell you not to let the baby get used to sleeping where it's absolutely quiet, because they might not be able to sleep if there's noise?
Yeah. That's not gonna be a problem around here.
For my daughters:
Pearls
by Shannon Brown
These pearls from my mother, passed down from her mother
Of everything they gave me, I treasure them most
Can't wear them, can't hold them, don't come from the ocean
Oh, they're way more precious than anything I own
They're written in my soul
Chorus
Remember who you are, and don't forget to pray
Make sure he's your best friend
When you give your heart away
Be kind, be strong,
Be someone everyone can count on
Yeah, someday
I'm gonna give my little girl
These pearls
I'll teach her about make-up, boyfriends and break-ups
I'll share all the wisdom I've ever learned
Like beauty's on the inside, give it your best try
I'll pass down the same words I've always heard
And she'll carry them with her
Repeat Chorus
Bridge She'll tell her daughter, and she'll tell hers too
I've saved these pearls just for you
