"You Know You're a Horse/Mule/Donkey Person when..."
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* This article was excerpted from the March/April 1999 edition of The Brayer: Journal of the American Donkey and Mule Society, page 59.

• You pull a $17,000 horse trailer with a $1,700 pickup truck.
• You're seriously considering an even trade of your 1998 Buick for a 1986 diesel crewcab dually pickup truck.
• You dress like a lawyer on weekdays and someone who needs a lawyer on your days off.
• You plan your pregnancy around the show season so you can send your horse to the trainer during the eighth and ninth months.
• You buy duct tape by the case, and carry a roll in your pocketbook, your briefcase, and the console of your car.
• You have saved five old left mud boots "just in case" and another right one has sprung a leak.
• You'll drive an hour in a snowstorm to ride your horse, but God forbid you have to drive 5 minutes to the store to buy groceries.
• When your six year old tells everyone that he's going to be the "ring steward" at your aunt's wedding!
• Your friends no longer ask to get together with you on a weekend afternoon because they know you'll say -- "I can't, I have a show/penning/rodeo/trail ride/hunt meet."
• You consider a pristine golf course as a waste of good pasture land.
• Every time you drive past a construction site you think how you could use all that lumber at the barn!
• After arriving at the barn and finding the sprinklers on in the indoor arena, you go ahead and ride in it anyway. What's a little indoor "rain"?
• Your horse gets new shoes more often than you.
• Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse complains that you love your horse more then (sic) you love him/her and you answer: "And your point is?"
• Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse does something nice for y and you say "good boy/girl" and pat him/her on the neck.
• You're trying to pass someone in a crowded hallway and instead of saying "excuse me" to him/her, you cluck at them.
• You meet a business associate for a breakfast meeting and they reach over the breakfast table to pick alfalfa out of your hair.
• No one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay all over their clothes... But hey, that's OK!! You'd have to rearrange all the tack to make room for them anyway!
• You are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub, but don't mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes, in your food...
• You don't mind throwing the frozen manure balls for the barn dog to fetch!
• Your first stop in the office is the rest room to remove the shavings from your shoes.
• The non-horsy guy/gal you just started dating gives you a funny look after glancing into the back seat of your car, and you realize your whips and spurs have been noticed.
• Your kids run through the house and you tell them to whoa.