Toddlerisms

Home

Kids say the darnedest things!

December 2006

• Thomas was busy playing with his computer at bedtime, when the following conversation ensued:
  Dad: It's time to go to bed, Thomas.
  Thomas: OK, I click on Yes to go to bed.
• Kayla (after getting a big hug from her Mom): You squeeze my spines!

November 2006

• Adam: Mama, when I grow up, I'm gonna have a cooking show called "Cooking at Cafe Adam." All you need is a few ingredients, and a TV!
  Mom: That sounds great! And I have a few ingredients, and a TV.
  Adam: Yes. But it's sad that people who live in boxes won't be able to watch it.
  Mom: Yes, that is sad.
  Adam: Are there any people who live in boxes that have radios?
  Mom: Yes, I think so.
  Adam: Well, there will be a radio version of "Cooking at Cafe Adam", called "Cooking With Trash Food." (We've been doing some talking lately about gratitude and consequences and how much worse life could be than having to do schoolwork and have a bedtime.)
• Thomas: I want nudder 'nana fluffy! (banana muffin)

April 2004

• Dad: Can you say "bad influence?"
  Kayla: Daddy!
  Dad: That's right!

March 2004

• "I'm not expecting another baby, I'm expecting an anteater!"
• Mom (after receiving a hug and kiss from TheBoy): May I have another hug?
  Adam: No, 'fank you.
  Mom: May I have another kiss?
  Adam: No, 'fank you.
  Mom: No more hugs and kisses?
  Adam: Nope, you already had one. You can have just one hug and one kiss. But you can have a banana!

January 2004

• "An elephant is a trunk-eating grass mammal."
• Mom: It's the Bearenstain Bears.
  Adam: And the Owlenstain Owls!
• "These oranges, like all oranges, are made of orange juice."
• "Lead the charge, General!"

June 2003

• Adam: Come on, Mama, you're making up the scene.
  Mom: I'm making up the scene?
  Adam: Yes, you're making up the scene.
  Mom: Where did you learn that?
  Adam: From the living room.
• While lying on the upstairs bed: "I'm resting and I runned away from Kayla."

April/May 2003

• Dad: OK, let's change your diaper. (starts to change diaper upstairs, thinking it's just wet) Uh-oh. Did you forget to tell me something?
  Adam: No!
  Dad: What did you forget to tell me?
  Adam: Nuffin!
  Dad: You're poopy.
  Adam: Nuffin!
  Dad: Let's go downstairs and clean the poopies off.
  Adam: Nuffin!
  Dad: Let's go, Adam. (On a related note, we have an almost-three-year-old, slightly smelly, for sale: CHEAP!)
• When I was pretending to be a hungry dinosaur: "Adams are not for dinner!"
• "That's annoying me, to go to bed."
• About Kayla: "She doesn't like me. And she doesn't like my dinosaurs, too."
• Mom: You know what I think?
  Adam: What?
  Mom: I think that you have a very nice nose. You know what else I think?
  Adam: What?
  Mom: I think you are my favorite boy in the whole world.
  Adam: You know what I think?
  Mom: What?
  Adam: I think I should fuss.
• To his Mom when he was feeling affectionate: "You're a pretty good monster."
• Adam: (pointing at my vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce) What's that?
  Mom: (hoping to keep eating her own ice cream for a change) It's mashed potatoes and gravy.
  Adam: (pause) That mashed potatoes and gravy is called "ice cream".

March 2003

• When Kayla was fussing unintelligibly to be picked up: "You have to say, 'Mama.' You better say, 'Mama.' It's not my job to say, 'Mama.' You have to say, 'Mama,' not fussin."
• "Fussing babies should not stay inside, screaming babies should go outside!"
• "I need pants to keep my goosebumps warm."
• While playing with his dinosaur CD: "How are you doin, dinosaurs? Are you feelin fine today, dinosaurs?"
• "I very love you, Mama."
• Adam: I have a penis!
  Mom: Yes, you do. Some kids have a penis.
  Adam: And some kids have puzzles and toys and books and friends.

February 2003

• "You're welcome for my manners."
• Referring to a stuffed puppy: "He barks at the window and chases the cows and the cars and the things that go."
• On seeing me enter his pre-school classroom: "Hello, Mama, it's nice to see you again!"
• "We are going after a magical dragon."
• "I have green-eggs-and-ham poopy."
• Adam: "Forty-eight five puzzle!"
  Mom: "That's right, you're doing a forty-eight piece puzzle. You're doing a very nice job!"
  Adam: "Of course I am!"
• (Spoken while upstairs) "It's pretty sunny up here, and it's pretty chilly outside."
• "Thanks for my manners, Mama."
• Mom: How does your head feel?
  Adam: Mama Bear said, "It's too hurt."
   

January 2003

• "I want some junk food, please."
• Adam: Did you ever eat a bat?
  Mom: No, I haven't. Have you ever eaten a bat?
  Adam: Yes, I have.
  Mom: What did it taste like?
  Adam: Chockit!
• "I'm sowwy, Mama, but you can't have a kiss."
• "I love you, too.... I love you TEN!"
• "It was the best job I ever do-ded."
• "I'm upset for dinnertime."
• Adam (sees animation of an eagle pouncing on a pigeon, and resultant pigeon feathers): Uh-oh, something's broken!
  Mom: The birdie's broken. Sometimes big birdies eat little birdies.
  Adam: And some birdies kiss!
• Adam: Fix it, Mama, fix it!
  Mom: Fix what?
  Adam: My diaper cover.
  Mom (after fixing diaper): There ya go.
  Adam: Great job, Mama!!

November/December 2002

• Mom: What are you building?
  Adam: A house!
  Mom: It's a very nice house. Who lives there?
  Adam: It's a house for Daddy.
  Mom: I bet Daddy would like it.
  Adam: I like Daddy. I like to play with Daddy. Daddies are my favorite.
• On seeing this item: "Corn dog biscuits!"
• Mom (to Adam): "Obstinate child!"
  Adam: "ob-sin-da tiled!"
  Mike: "You're an obstinate child!"
  Adam: "I'm not an obsinda tiled, I'm Adam!"
• "Christmas is ready!"
• Reviewing a Christmas card with a snowman on the cover: "It's a book about snowmans." and "This is called Christmastime."
• Mom: Would you like to go get some candy?
  Adam: Yes, I would. Candy is a good choice.
• Pointing at his Daddy's yogurt: "That's yours, Daddy. Would I like a bite of it? O-tayyyyyy."
• After hearing me lament our lack of Christmas decorations: "I'm sorry, Mama, but you shouldn't need this". Then later, bringing me a sale flyer with Christmas decorations, "I'm sorry, Mama, but you need this. I'll open it so you can read this."
• "I would like a baby today. Please, Mama, please?"
• "My goodness, that's nummy noodles!"
• "I'm a hungry boy, who's hungry for candy." ("Hungry", by the way, is pronounced "hunnery".)
• Mom: How many poopy diapers can you make??
  Adam: Un, too, freeee!
• Adam: The duck looks in the mirror!
  Mom: And what does he see?
  Adam: Himself!
  Mom (trying to turn this into a grammar lesson): And if Kayla looks in the mirror, what does she see?
  Adam: The duck's self!
• Dad: Thanksgiving is a day when we think about what makes us happy, then eat a lot. What makes you happy?
  Adam: Everything, I'm a happy boy!
• Dad: What do you want for breakfast?
  Adam: Hotmeal!
  After some troubleshooting, it was determined that he wanted oatmeal.
• On seeing a baby girl with a pacifier: "She has a puppy in her mouth!"
• "His name's LittleGuy."
• To his sister: "Don't grab my ice cream, just look at my ice cream."
• "I like a hammaburger."
• Mom (as I jiggle infant Kayla on my knee): I'm shaking her, Adam.
  Adam: Into seven pieces! (pause) That's no good, to shake her into seven pieces.
• Playing with his stuffed Bob the Builder: "Don't put anything in your mouth, Bob," and "I'll keep you safe," and "You are the best Bob in the whole world."
• "I spinned a great spin."
• "I have a good mama." (sniff)
• Adam (looking at yet another picture, this time of a man holding a rabbit): "He has a snowball!"
• Mom (showing Adam a picture of jack-o-lanterns from a friend's site): What is it?
  Adam: It's... (pause, while he thinks) THAT thing!
• Adam (as he adds an iguana to a six-foot long line of trucks, animals, and toy people): "I got your sister!"
  Mom: Is that your sister?
  Adam: It's Wendy's sister!
• About a chocolate cake he got in the afternoon, after finding a box of cake flour that morning, "It's made from flour!"
• "I'm sad of apples." (Doesn't quite have "tired of" and "sad of" mastered yet.)
• Mom: What does Daddy do?
  Adam: He types Daddy things.
  Mom: And what does Mommy do?
  Adam: She types Mommy things.
  Mom: And what does Kayla do?
  Adam: She's just lie down.
• "Can we poop it? Yes, we CAN!"
• Coming into our bed from his: "I love this bed cuz Mama's in it!"
• "The coyotes wear coyote shirts."
• Mike: What are you doing?
  Adam: I'm taking off your glasses.
  Mike: Why?
  Adam: I'm sending you to bed!
• Adam (pointing to a picture on a box of Spiderman cereal): He's cryin'.
  Mom: That's the Green Goblin (Spiderman's arch enemy).
  Adam: He's a fussy one.
• After seeing a bottle of pancake syrup in the shape of Mrs. Butterworth: "It has a Mama on it!"
• Mom: Do you want to go outside?
  Adam (whining): Hunh, hunh, nooooo.
  Mom: But going outside is fun!
  Adam: Going outside is not fun!
  Mom: So what's fun, then?
  Adam: Just fussin' is fun.